"Apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5
These are the words I read today as I sat thinking about the events of the morning.
I just wanted to go to a bible study for women to actually have adult conversation and pretend to be a showered, civilized woman. Ok, I also wanted to go without any stress, and to be honest that shouldn't be a realistic goal of mine anymore.
Over and over my physical limitations of only having 2 arms with 4 children proved my humanly weaknesses. I got them all into the van (only screaming at them once) and had a pretty peaceful drive to where I was going. Realizing I was about 20 minutes late, I decided to just haul the twins in my arms and not use the stroller to get into the building. Hello, what? I don't know what I was thinking. As we are headed in the door, both little boys are screaming and the two older are complaining about the wind, cold, and having to carry too much stuff for me. "Just hurry up!!!", I yell while barely making it through the door before it hit me from behind. Ok, the twins are now 20 months and I don't know if we just don't get them out enough or what but they have some separation anxiety going on...bad. I love it while we are home and they want to cuddle and always be close, but when they need to go play for mommy to get a little break, it becomes a real tough thing. All that to say, I made it in, although twins were screaming, I went to the study. It was great and much needed.
And, now its over and I have to go get the little darlings. I could hear the scream as I entered the hallway to the children's wing. Oh no! Oh yes, that was one of the twins. So, again it was quite a circus to get coats on and try to make it out the door just to get in the flipping van. I felt exhausted already from getting there. The hour and a half study just wasn't long enough. As Owen was flailing around screaming because he was desperately wanting to know if I was going to leave him again, Andrew decided he just might cry too. I mean, afterall, there was a chance I could take them back into that room where they had so much fun. ahhh!!! While, trying to carry the screaming duo and keeping the olders inline to get out the door, I had several sweet ladies ask if I needed help. "No! Why? why would you think that?! I can do this." Oh heavens. I made it to the van and as soon as I sat down, tears ran from my eyes. I felt the sting of pride, exhaustion, and utter weakness all throughout my being. I was mad that it's this hard to do one simple task. I was sad that my children are clingy and won't exactly take help from anyone. I was tired, and I didn't want to be. I was embarrassed, because I couldn't keep it together.
The simple reminder that we can't do anything without Him, was exactly what I needed to read. In my weakness, HE IS STRONG. In my weakness, others see HIS GRACE. In my weakness, I SEE HIS GRACE. I have to try and remind myself of this. I'm not superwoman. In fact, because I'm not superwoman I get to experience Christ in a way that I wouldn't if I were. When we go through trials and adversity, we become dependent on Christ. If we could do it all and not have to strive for perserverance through faith, we wouldn't depend on our Lord.
Father, thank you for reminding me today that I need you desperately. Thank you, that though it's hard and at times exhausting, you've given this family for me to love.
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Why Would You Ask People For Money?
This isn't a question that we've gotten very often, but it has been raised, and there are probably others who have the same questions. Why would you ask other people to give you financial support?
First, the adoption will cost us about $25,000 by the time all is said and done. Simply put, we don't have $25,000 sitting in a bank account right now. Here is a link to the fee schedule from our adoption agency. The total cost ($21,330 - $27,530) is written at the bottom of the fee schedule.
Secondly, it has never been our intention or hope that anyone would ever donate or give us support who didn't feel a particular calling or desire to support us in this endeavor. Our prayer and hope has always been that no one would ever feel pressured or guilty about not giving money. Your prayers and emotional support are just as important as your financial support. If someone has felt like they shouldn't give, then I hope he/she never feels an ounce of guilt. Our goal has always been that if someone feels led or called or passionate about being on this journey with us, then one tangible way they could help would be with financial support. The response has been overwhelmingly supportive, and it would be impossible for us to ever thank you all enough for you what you have meant to us.
Thirdly, we posted a lengthy post about how all Christians are called to love, visit, and care for orphans. All people are not called to adopt, but it could be that some are called to support those who are called to adopt. Similarly to providing financial support for someone traveling on a mission trip, our prayer was that this opportunity gave some the opportunity to join us on this mission.
There are some people who might say, "I am just too proud to ask anyone for money for something like this." I've been there, and let me be honest in saying that I have repented of my pride several times during this journey. Some of my thoughts have included: "will people think we're poor?"; "will families sit around their tables at night and talk about us?"; "Do people assume that I make a ton of money because I'm an attorney?"; "Will people talk about how we just bought new lawn chairs?"
Asking people to support us has been one of the most humbling experiences for us.....and that's a good thing. This whole process is so much bigger than just us. This is not about us thinking, "hey, I think it would be fun to adopt." This is not about one couple running off to save an orphan. This is about the entire body of Christ (the Church) coming together to live out our mandate to care for orphans.
It makes me think about the first Christians in Acts:
All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need. Acts 4:32-35
We really cannot express how thankful and overwhelmed we are by the generosity of all of you right now. For us, it has been a modern-day expression of sharing what you have to help us bring home our child. We pray that we will be the same givers and sharers when you call on us.
First, the adoption will cost us about $25,000 by the time all is said and done. Simply put, we don't have $25,000 sitting in a bank account right now. Here is a link to the fee schedule from our adoption agency. The total cost ($21,330 - $27,530) is written at the bottom of the fee schedule.
Secondly, it has never been our intention or hope that anyone would ever donate or give us support who didn't feel a particular calling or desire to support us in this endeavor. Our prayer and hope has always been that no one would ever feel pressured or guilty about not giving money. Your prayers and emotional support are just as important as your financial support. If someone has felt like they shouldn't give, then I hope he/she never feels an ounce of guilt. Our goal has always been that if someone feels led or called or passionate about being on this journey with us, then one tangible way they could help would be with financial support. The response has been overwhelmingly supportive, and it would be impossible for us to ever thank you all enough for you what you have meant to us.
Thirdly, we posted a lengthy post about how all Christians are called to love, visit, and care for orphans. All people are not called to adopt, but it could be that some are called to support those who are called to adopt. Similarly to providing financial support for someone traveling on a mission trip, our prayer was that this opportunity gave some the opportunity to join us on this mission.
There are some people who might say, "I am just too proud to ask anyone for money for something like this." I've been there, and let me be honest in saying that I have repented of my pride several times during this journey. Some of my thoughts have included: "will people think we're poor?"; "will families sit around their tables at night and talk about us?"; "Do people assume that I make a ton of money because I'm an attorney?"; "Will people talk about how we just bought new lawn chairs?"
Asking people to support us has been one of the most humbling experiences for us.....and that's a good thing. This whole process is so much bigger than just us. This is not about us thinking, "hey, I think it would be fun to adopt." This is not about one couple running off to save an orphan. This is about the entire body of Christ (the Church) coming together to live out our mandate to care for orphans.
It makes me think about the first Christians in Acts:
All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need. Acts 4:32-35
We really cannot express how thankful and overwhelmed we are by the generosity of all of you right now. For us, it has been a modern-day expression of sharing what you have to help us bring home our child. We pray that we will be the same givers and sharers when you call on us.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Why Are You Adopting From Ethiopia?
"If you're going to adopt, why don't you just adopt a white baby?" Even deeper than that question is the reasoning behind it. What they often really mean is "Maybe if you adopt a white baby, people might think she's really yours." "Won't this make your life easier?" "As your friend (family member, co-worker, etc.) wouldn't that make my life easier?" Or it's just as possible that they think it's flat out wrong.
By the world's standards, these questions and thoughts make all the sense in the world. After all, our very sin nature pulls us to identify ourselves according to the flesh. The secular world has also given us a variety of studies on this topic. One Study conducted recently attempted to discourage transracial adoption finding that although "transracial adoption itself does not produce psychological or other social problems in children," black children adopted into white families "often face major challenges as the only person of color in an all-white environment, trying to cope with being different."
The world loves these studies, because the world has a natural instinct to separate each of us according to the flesh. You know who else loves these studies? Christians who vale their hostility and insecurity with a pretense of care and love for these orphans who might face these "major challenges." "It's just not fair to the the child," you might hear them say. Are we too so infatuated with the flesh that we believe that a white orphan is better off living her life, motherless and fatherless, in an orphanage than to be adopted into a loving black family (or vice versa)? Are these "major challenges" too great of an obstacle for the reality of the gospel?
I am completely aware that there is some validity to these findings, and I know that a black child with white parents faces unique challenges and circumstances that most of us can never relate to. There is no doubt that white parents who choose to adopt a black baby must educate and prepare themselves to the reality of our racially-charged world. And I think it is irresponsible and abhorrent to adopt a child of another race simply to show off your uber-charity and your "I'm saving the world" persona. Adopting a child, especially one of another race, is a huge deal, and it should not be taken lightly or without much prayer and discernment. However, James 1:27 doesn't say that pure, undefiled religion is to visit orphans of your own color in their affliction. Psalm 82:3 doesn't say, Give justice to the weak and the fatherless of your own color.
Some will say, "it's just not right" or "back in my day," or "it's just the way I was raised," or "it's just not natural," etc., etc. All unacceptable excuses without a trace of biblical foundation or truth. Sin is sin regardless of what decade it originated in. And even if that's what the world believed back then and continues to believe today, scripture instructs us not to be conformed to the ways and thoughts of the world.
Scripture tells us that as sons and daughters of God, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." (Gal. 3:28) And even if the world doesn't get this, we as Christians must. No matter what color you may be, if you have placed your faith in Christ, then you have been trans-racially adopted into the family of God. No matter what color of skin we have, we now stand as brothers and sisters sharing the same Father.
Russell Moore is is the Dean of the School of Theology at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and the teaching pastor at Highview Baptist Church in Louisville, KY. Moore is a strong adoption advocate and recently wrote a book called "Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families & Churches." In the book, Moore discusses at length the fact that many of the people who show the most disfavor to inter-racial adoption claim to be Christians. Moore says that these Christians "seem not to comprehend that their own devotion to their flesh would disqualify non-Semitic folks like them from the promise of God. If Jesus (a Middle Eastern, Galilean Jew) agreed with them on adoption and race, they'd be in hell....Our love for neighbor means we must prioritize the need for families for the fatherless, regardless of how their skin colors or languages line up with one another."
Finally, Moore says, "don't fear transracial adoption, whatever the racist relatives or 'progressive' experts say. There'll always be secularists -- and sadly, some church people too -- who will try to divide us up into neat categories of race and class. Jesus does the opposite, though. He sits us right down at the same table and feeds us bread and wine -- together."
So, why Ethiopia? First, why not? We are adopting a parentless orphan who needs a family. Her skin happens to be pretty dark. Secondly, God's providence has led us to Ethiopia. Lindsey especially has had a heart for the people of Africa for as long as she can remember. Coming from a small town, this is hard to explain apart from a supernatural conviction from God. Thirdly, we are surrounded by a church that supports and loves us, and our child will be embraced and loved as well. Fourth, we are called to international missions in one form or another. Fifth, we don't really know. In the previous post, I explained why we felt convicted to adopt. By God's grace, this journey has led us to Ethiopia, and we've embraced it.
Here's a short video from Russell Moore:
By the world's standards, these questions and thoughts make all the sense in the world. After all, our very sin nature pulls us to identify ourselves according to the flesh. The secular world has also given us a variety of studies on this topic. One Study conducted recently attempted to discourage transracial adoption finding that although "transracial adoption itself does not produce psychological or other social problems in children," black children adopted into white families "often face major challenges as the only person of color in an all-white environment, trying to cope with being different."
The world loves these studies, because the world has a natural instinct to separate each of us according to the flesh. You know who else loves these studies? Christians who vale their hostility and insecurity with a pretense of care and love for these orphans who might face these "major challenges." "It's just not fair to the the child," you might hear them say. Are we too so infatuated with the flesh that we believe that a white orphan is better off living her life, motherless and fatherless, in an orphanage than to be adopted into a loving black family (or vice versa)? Are these "major challenges" too great of an obstacle for the reality of the gospel?
I am completely aware that there is some validity to these findings, and I know that a black child with white parents faces unique challenges and circumstances that most of us can never relate to. There is no doubt that white parents who choose to adopt a black baby must educate and prepare themselves to the reality of our racially-charged world. And I think it is irresponsible and abhorrent to adopt a child of another race simply to show off your uber-charity and your "I'm saving the world" persona. Adopting a child, especially one of another race, is a huge deal, and it should not be taken lightly or without much prayer and discernment. However, James 1:27 doesn't say that pure, undefiled religion is to visit orphans of your own color in their affliction. Psalm 82:3 doesn't say, Give justice to the weak and the fatherless of your own color.
Some will say, "it's just not right" or "back in my day," or "it's just the way I was raised," or "it's just not natural," etc., etc. All unacceptable excuses without a trace of biblical foundation or truth. Sin is sin regardless of what decade it originated in. And even if that's what the world believed back then and continues to believe today, scripture instructs us not to be conformed to the ways and thoughts of the world.
Scripture tells us that as sons and daughters of God, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." (Gal. 3:28) And even if the world doesn't get this, we as Christians must. No matter what color you may be, if you have placed your faith in Christ, then you have been trans-racially adopted into the family of God. No matter what color of skin we have, we now stand as brothers and sisters sharing the same Father.
Russell Moore is is the Dean of the School of Theology at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and the teaching pastor at Highview Baptist Church in Louisville, KY. Moore is a strong adoption advocate and recently wrote a book called "Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families & Churches." In the book, Moore discusses at length the fact that many of the people who show the most disfavor to inter-racial adoption claim to be Christians. Moore says that these Christians "seem not to comprehend that their own devotion to their flesh would disqualify non-Semitic folks like them from the promise of God. If Jesus (a Middle Eastern, Galilean Jew) agreed with them on adoption and race, they'd be in hell....Our love for neighbor means we must prioritize the need for families for the fatherless, regardless of how their skin colors or languages line up with one another."
Finally, Moore says, "don't fear transracial adoption, whatever the racist relatives or 'progressive' experts say. There'll always be secularists -- and sadly, some church people too -- who will try to divide us up into neat categories of race and class. Jesus does the opposite, though. He sits us right down at the same table and feeds us bread and wine -- together."
So, why Ethiopia? First, why not? We are adopting a parentless orphan who needs a family. Her skin happens to be pretty dark. Secondly, God's providence has led us to Ethiopia. Lindsey especially has had a heart for the people of Africa for as long as she can remember. Coming from a small town, this is hard to explain apart from a supernatural conviction from God. Thirdly, we are surrounded by a church that supports and loves us, and our child will be embraced and loved as well. Fourth, we are called to international missions in one form or another. Fifth, we don't really know. In the previous post, I explained why we felt convicted to adopt. By God's grace, this journey has led us to Ethiopia, and we've embraced it.
Here's a short video from Russell Moore:
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Why Are You Doing This?
Throughout this journey, we have already addressed a variety of questions. Some understandable, some silly, some offensive, and some just sad. Here are a few: If you can have "your own" children, why are you adopting? Why would you adopt a black child? Why would you ask people to donate money?; people don't ask for money when they have "their own" kids. Why does it take so long? Why is it so expensive? ... and on and on.
Besides these questions, we have had a handful of people expressly disapproving and even encouraging us not to adopt. Sadly enough, most of those that disapprove the most are Christians. I don't get it, and I don't think I ever will, but out of love and obedience, I want to address some of these issues.
First, the bible does not mix punches when it talks about our mandate to care for orphans. All Christians are not called to adopt, but all Christians are called to care for orphans. James 1:27 says, "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." Psalm 10 says, "O Lord...,you will incline your ear to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more." Psalm 82:3 says, "Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute." Isaiah 1:17: "learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause."
So, as a Christian, are you called to adopt? Maybe, maybe not. Are you called to care for orphans? YES.
I am also constantly reminded that I wasn't always a child of God's.....and you weren't either. In Romans, Paul tells us that we were once "slaves of sin." Romans 6:17 In 1 John 3, John says that, "No one who is born of God will continue to sin," and that "[t]his is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother." 1 John 3: 9,10 Jesus even said that, "If God were your Father, you would love me," but as a slave to sin, "you are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires." John 8:42, 44 Paul says that "by nature [we were] children of wrath." Eph 2:3
So, as a slave to sin, the bible says that I was also a child of the devil. As crazy as this may sound, the devil was once my father. That's pretty hardcore stuff. I hope this sounds awful and crazy and scary.....because it is.
Okay, so what about the adoption part? Well, we have to know where we were before we can rejoice at the magnitude of where we are. And I think it's pretty clear, that apart from the family of Christ, we were in a horrible place. Here's the good news:
"But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, 'Abba! Father!' So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God." Gal. 4:4-7
Through faith in Christ, I am no longer a slave to sin and the devil is no longer my father. Through faith in Christ, I have been adopted into the family of God, and God is my father, and I am his son. I was once lost, but Jesus did not leave me as on orphan, he came to me. John 14:18 I was an outsider with only an identity of the flesh to call my own, but now I am a "member of the household of God." Eph 2:19
That's the Gospel. Adoption is the Gospel. John Piper says that "the very heart of the gospel is God's passion to not only redeem sinners but to adopt them as his very own sons and daughters (Ephesians 1:4-5)."
Adoption is and has always been at the core of God's plan to redeem us. Lindsey and I feel personally convicted and called to honor and celebrate our own adoption and to care for orphans by adopting children into our own family.
Besides these questions, we have had a handful of people expressly disapproving and even encouraging us not to adopt. Sadly enough, most of those that disapprove the most are Christians. I don't get it, and I don't think I ever will, but out of love and obedience, I want to address some of these issues.
First, the bible does not mix punches when it talks about our mandate to care for orphans. All Christians are not called to adopt, but all Christians are called to care for orphans. James 1:27 says, "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." Psalm 10 says, "O Lord...,you will incline your ear to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more." Psalm 82:3 says, "Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute." Isaiah 1:17: "learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause."
So, as a Christian, are you called to adopt? Maybe, maybe not. Are you called to care for orphans? YES.
I am also constantly reminded that I wasn't always a child of God's.....and you weren't either. In Romans, Paul tells us that we were once "slaves of sin." Romans 6:17 In 1 John 3, John says that, "No one who is born of God will continue to sin," and that "[t]his is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother." 1 John 3: 9,10 Jesus even said that, "If God were your Father, you would love me," but as a slave to sin, "you are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires." John 8:42, 44 Paul says that "by nature [we were] children of wrath." Eph 2:3
So, as a slave to sin, the bible says that I was also a child of the devil. As crazy as this may sound, the devil was once my father. That's pretty hardcore stuff. I hope this sounds awful and crazy and scary.....because it is.
Okay, so what about the adoption part? Well, we have to know where we were before we can rejoice at the magnitude of where we are. And I think it's pretty clear, that apart from the family of Christ, we were in a horrible place. Here's the good news:
"But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, 'Abba! Father!' So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God." Gal. 4:4-7
Through faith in Christ, I am no longer a slave to sin and the devil is no longer my father. Through faith in Christ, I have been adopted into the family of God, and God is my father, and I am his son. I was once lost, but Jesus did not leave me as on orphan, he came to me. John 14:18 I was an outsider with only an identity of the flesh to call my own, but now I am a "member of the household of God." Eph 2:19
That's the Gospel. Adoption is the Gospel. John Piper says that "the very heart of the gospel is God's passion to not only redeem sinners but to adopt them as his very own sons and daughters (Ephesians 1:4-5)."
Adoption is and has always been at the core of God's plan to redeem us. Lindsey and I feel personally convicted and called to honor and celebrate our own adoption and to care for orphans by adopting children into our own family.
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