To my sweet Momma

I can't comprehend the fact that it's been a year without seeing you, feeling you, or hearing your voice. My brain could not handle this happening before and now that it's happened I don't know how to process it without wanting to deny and tell myself you'll be back soon.

I have put off writing in hopes that I could just mentally deal with the hurt inside, but my heart won't let me do that anymore. Until I write, this ocean of overwhelming emotion will not calm even the slightest bit.

I have tried to recall each day from last year; what happened on that particular day and what I was feeling midst the sadness. With every memory, my mind always brings me back to who YOU were. I've never seen you so physically helpless. I couldn't have even imagined you like that. You remained to be so powerful and strong for those around you. Every smile, every touch, every word you were able to muster up the strength to write, spoke volumes! You would wave when we'd walk through the ICU doors and we knew it took all of your strength to lift those few fingers. It was such a picture of your incredible heart for others. You had this look of confidence in your Savior and an overflowing joy with mention of your grand kids. I laugh every time I think of you rolling your eyes at Dad when he did something silly. You remained the same calm and laid back Momma that I've known all my life.

Defeated, some would say. Not you... You were strong while we crumbled knowing what a loss this would be. You were our rock and we realize this now more than ever. People have said, "It gets easier," or "Be thankful for good memories." While these things may be true, you certainly aren't someone who makes it easy to move forward. Some days I'm not sure I can put one foot in front of the other. In fact, I don't think I do. It's more like I've been carried. I don't know how to move forward without you Mom.

This day will forever be one I'd like to forget. While you met Jesus, we were left without you. What a comfort to know though that you saw Jesus and had such an attested sign that He was holding you and you were HIS. I prayed over and over for a miracle. I wanted God to take this away from you and heal you because I could not imagine living without you. I was angry when He didn't do that. I know now that He did show us a miracle. While it wasn't what we wanted, He made himself known through you in so many ways.

Elijah had a dream that we could go to Heaven and visit you in the summertime. I think that's a great idea. In someways I miss you more and I'm not sure the pain is getting any better. In others, I have seen how God can comfort and provide peace in the most unlikely things. Isaiah 41:10

Thank you for the legacy that you've given to all of us. You made life better! You were my greatest friend and I will forever be missing that. I can't wait to have a hug from you again. I'm remembering all the good today...there's so much good.

Love you sweet Momma!
LBT

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Say what?!

So, the last post that was written was the announcement of the unexpected pregnancy of our 5th child. Well, he is here. Yes, it is a he. Am I disappointed? No. Well, not now anyway. There was a part of me that thought I knew what God was doing when we once again found out we were pregnant and had not yet had a daughter. I thought, "oh wow, He is going to miraculously bless us with a daughter now that we've surrendered and realized NOTHING is in our hands." So, I can honestly say that when we found out it was a boy, again, my heart sank a little.

 On November 22, 2013 I met and fell in love with yet another boy. His name is Sterling Isaac Teefey and because of his sweet face and human form being brought into this world, I will never be the same. Sterling isn't just another boy! He is an amazing miracle that God chose to entrust to us.  Holy Heck. Why was I every disappointed? I didn't see the privilege of being a mother to this incredible little man, but now I do.

All that to say, I want to tell you about something I heard not too long ago. It's not much different than many of the things John and I hear on a daily basis, but it really kind of lit me on fire. I was picking up some things for my Dad at the small grocery store down from his house a few weeks ago. While I was walking down an aisle I overheard the conversation at the front of the store. The employee obviously new the man who was purchasing the items at the register. She said to him, "Congratulations on that new grand baby!" The man was being very thankful for the acknowledgment when another employee proceeded to ask if it was a boy or a girl. After the man told her it was a boy the employee stated very loudly, " Oh no! that's no fun. I'm so sorry!"

I'm pretty sure my mouth dropped and an eye roll flared even though I was clearly alone in the aisle looking for some chicken noodle soup. It saddens my heart that people are so down on having boys in this country. I do not doubt for one second that having a daughter is something very special, but come on mommas of boys. We have such a cool job. Scary? Yes, but a privilege to raise up men to be truth tellers, gospel lovers, women honorers, faithful husbands, orphan helpers, hard workers, etc... We need more of these. Little boys can't be pushed aside anymore and accepted as "the rowdy ones". They are unique as boys and need to be treated as such, but they also need guidance and instruction on how to love the Lord and be honoring to others.

It's hard work, I admit. There are days that I am exhausted and would rather give up. I'm so thankful that the God of this world doesn't let me give up. He grants me the grace to keep on going; to keep on fighting for them and with them. He longs to see them as men who bring Glory to His name. He loves them more than I ever will. Therefore, we have to believe, He is on our side. He is on their side, even when the grocery store employees aren't :).

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Here we go...

"Trust in The Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

The last 3 years have been what seems like a constant changing in the Teefey house. After adopting Elijah in 2010, we have been blessed beyond reason. The twins were born 10 months later, we bought a new house (to accommodate), Manning started full time school, and John started a new job. The Lord has been teaching us through all of these things that He is in control, we depend on Him for each breath we take, and we have no idea what the next moment will hold for us. We started to feel like we could breathe again back in the fall of 2012 and really started praying about adopting once more in the near future. In February of 2013 we began talking to some different agencies about what the next step of adopting would look like. I'm not sure why God pulled our hearts so strongly in that direction only to change, once again, our plan of action. In March, we discovered that The Lord is going to add to our family again, but not through adoption at this time. We found out we were expecting a baby...only one this time! Wow, were we shocked!?!? I struggled for several weeks with questioning His plan and His sovereignty. I questioned my ability to parent another child so soon. I still wonder why this and not adoption. I don't know, and I may never know. But, I continue to have to go back to the proverb at the top. Trusting is not understanding. Trusting is mostly stepping out blindly and saying, "ok God".
We are excited to be expecting once again. Although this has been a surprise and somewhat a hurdle to wrap our minds around, we are thankful and truly feel blessed.
November 29, new baby Teefey will arrive!

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The masterpieces!

We've been pondering for awhile now what to do with all these amazing masterpieces that the kids create at home and bring home from school, church, etc...
We bought two long pieces of trim (approximately $2.00 ea.), and cut them down to size to fit our wall space. We then hot glued metal clips from Target onto each of the 3 cut pieces of trim. Later we added the wooden letters above, which I found at JoAnn Fabric. Now we can display all of these wonderful pictures. Easy Peasy.And, as you can see its already full!

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I Can't Do It

"Apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5
These are the words I read today as I sat thinking about the events of the morning.

 I just wanted to go to a bible study for women to actually have adult conversation and pretend to be a showered, civilized woman. Ok, I also wanted to go without any stress, and to be honest that shouldn't be a realistic goal of mine anymore.

Over and over my physical limitations of only having 2 arms with 4 children proved my humanly weaknesses. I got them all into the van (only screaming at them once) and had a pretty peaceful drive to where I was going. Realizing I was about 20 minutes late, I decided to just haul the twins in my arms and not use the stroller to get into the building. Hello, what? I don't know what I was thinking. As we are headed in the door, both little boys are screaming and the two older are complaining about the wind, cold, and having to carry too much stuff for me. "Just hurry up!!!", I yell while barely making it through the door before it hit me from behind. Ok, the twins are now 20 months and I don't know if we just don't get them out enough or what but they have some separation anxiety going on...bad. I love it while we are home and they want to cuddle and always be close, but when they need to go play for mommy to get a little break, it becomes a real tough thing. All that to say, I made it in, although twins were screaming, I went to the study. It was great and much needed.

And, now its over and I have to go get the little darlings. I could hear the scream as I entered the hallway to the children's wing. Oh no! Oh yes, that was one of the twins. So, again it was quite a circus to get coats on and try to make it out the door just to get in the flipping van. I felt exhausted already from getting there. The hour and a half study just wasn't long enough. As Owen was flailing around screaming because he was desperately wanting to know if I was going to leave him again, Andrew decided he just might cry too. I mean, afterall, there was a chance I could take them back into that room where they had so much fun. ahhh!!! While, trying to carry the screaming duo and keeping the olders inline to get out the door, I had several sweet ladies ask if I needed help. "No! Why? why would you think that?! I can do this." Oh heavens. I made it to the van and as soon as I sat down, tears ran from my eyes. I felt the sting of pride, exhaustion, and utter weakness all throughout my being. I was mad that it's this hard to do one simple task. I was sad that my children are clingy and won't exactly take help from anyone. I was tired, and I didn't want to be. I was embarrassed, because I couldn't keep it together.

The simple reminder that we can't do anything without Him, was exactly what I needed to read. In my weakness, HE IS STRONG. In my weakness, others see HIS GRACE. In my weakness, I SEE HIS GRACE. I have to try and remind myself of this. I'm not superwoman. In fact, because I'm not superwoman I get to experience Christ in a way that I wouldn't if I were. When we go through trials and adversity, we become dependent on Christ. If we could do it all and not have to strive for perserverance through faith, we wouldn't depend on our Lord.

Father, thank you for reminding me today that I need you desperately. Thank you, that though it's hard and at times exhausting, you've given this family for me to love.

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My Child Puked Into My Mouth

  So, you ever had one of your kids throw up in your mouth?  Not, like, "Oh, I think a little of that vomit got into my mouth."  No, more like, "wow, most of that vomit is now in my mouth."  It reminded me of the SNL skit where the family chews up their food for each other (picture).

At about 5:00, our oldest son called me and said, "Dad, you need to come home right now.  Andrew is throwing up and mommy is sad.  You need to come home right now."  Fortunately, I was already on the road and almost home that night.  The twins had both been sick for a couple days, and poor Andrew couldn't keep anything down that day.  I walk in the door, and Lins is holding Andrew as Owen screams from his highchair.  Manning is running around yelling about something, and Elijah is slowly stroking Andrew's head (he's our lover).  I can quickly tell Lins needs a break, so she hands Andrew over to me.  For whatever reason my mouth apparently was as wide open as humanly possible and Andrew immediately shared most of his dinner with me...Shared it directly with me. I may never know why he strategically waited until Lins handed him over to me.
  Now, this seemed like a highly contagious transaction, and I was certain that the flu immediately engulfed my body.    But here I sit nearly 5 days later symptom free.  Although, I was looking forward to the following conversation:

PERSON:  Aw man, you got the flu?  How do you think you got it?

ME:  I'm pretty sure that I caught it when my son puked in my mouth.

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Updating Outdated Kitchen Counter

Before

                                         

After

  This is how you can change your old, outdated countertops without spending a fortune.  And all you need is 3-5 colors of paint, paper towels, and paint brushes.
  I really didn't like our fake butcher block counter tops, and I read several places that you could paint them. While John was at work one day, I took a stab at painting them with some random paint in the garage...We have a lot of leftovers. I was pleased to see how well it covered.
Now I am obsessed and want to do the whole thing for sure. :)
  I ended up buying some counter paint by Rustoleum at Lowes to put down first. I figured it had a much more durable surface to work with than whatever I was finding in the garage.
  Once the solid color was dry, I started dabbing. Using a paper towel. Yep. that's right...Crumple the paper towel, dip in the paint lightly and go to town stamping the counter. After about 5 different colors and several layers here are the before and afters.

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Adoption Video

  I don't think that we ever put Elijah's adoption video on this blog, so here you go.  Watching it brings up so many emotions.  The trip was exhausting, and Lins and I experienced so much excitement, and fear, and doubt, and hope every hour.  It was truly physically and emotionally draining.  But God has been excessively good to us, and Elijah continues to be such an incredible blessing to our family.  His love, kindness, selflessness, gentleness, and obedience have been overwhelming.

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Kickin It

  As most blogs seem to do, this blog has laid dormant for over 2 years.  The last update was in 2010, and at that time we were merely a family of 4.  Well, in that nearly 2 year period, we have added a couple more whipper snappers and now we blessedly sit as a family of 6.  We've also moved into a new (for us) house, and Lins has been chipping away at a ton of projects.

  So, we thought, given the uniqueness of our family, this blog would give us the opportunity to show our ups and downs and God's constant faithfulness along the way.  From house projects, to adoption stories, to projectile vomiting, you'll find it here.

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Ethiopia now Home

Elijah is home! The trip went well overall. LONG FLIGHT! We got there Monday night (July 19) late and met Elijah first thing the next morning. He was with us from then on. Wow! It seemed like this long awaited journey finally came to the moment we'd been waiting for. We prepared for the worst...screaming, scared, running away, confusion. John walked in his room and he ran to him and gave him a hug. His caregiver coached him and he began calling us Mommy and Daddy right away. He was excited to leave with us, and got upset when he felt we were going to leave without him. We prayed for his little heart to be prepared to meet us and know us, and it was as if he immediately did. He was holding the bear and album we had mailed him a few months ago and really seemed to comprehend we were the family in the pictures, the family that God had chosen for him. The week in Ethiopia was pretty good. We found out quickly that he was potty trained and loved food! yay! He began repeating English within the hour he was with us. The director and his wife told us that he was their favorite little boy and he was very sociable. They were right about the sociable part. We'd spend nights at the guest house in the other couples' rooms and he was the show. :) hmmm.... sounds like another little boy we know. The flight home went pretty smooth as well. He cried twice because he was sleepy, but fell asleep within 5-10 minutes.

Finally, we arrived home to Springfield at 5:00 Tuesday evening (26th). When we got in the car, he began crying because he was pretty freaked out about the carseat. yeah, no carseats in Ethiopia. It didn't last long. The first thing we did was....go through Dairy Queen drive through. Awww... a cheeseburger never tasted so good. Elijah loved the chicken strips and gravy. We missed Manning dearly so we asked Ginger to bring him home that night. They arrived after Elijah was asleep. It was so good to see his little smile and know he was ok. Grandparents are awesome. He wanted to see Elijah, so we let him take a flashlight in his room to look at him while he was sleeping.

The next morning Manning woke up first and when Elijah woke up they just kind of stared at each other. And, here's where the adjusting began. Let's just say it's been a tough 3 weeks. Not sure we could've fully comprehended what it meant to have a 2 year old and a 3 year old all of a sudden before we actually had a 2 year old and a 3 year old. Each week has been better. Lots of fighting over the same toy, whining, chasing, throwing, biting, and timeouts has been the story for the last few weeks. We are confident that soon they will learn that being friends is much easier.

We are happy Elijah's home. We are thankful for all of your prayers. He truly has a sweet spirit and we can already see ways that he fits the mold of our family so well.

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