The Teefey Journey

Ethiopia now Home

2010-08-14T16:15:00.003-05:00

Elijah is home! The trip went well overall. LONG FLIGHT! We got there Monday night (July 19) late and met Elijah first thing the next morning. He was with us from then on. Wow! It seemed like this long awaited journey finally came to the moment we'd been waiting for. We prepared for the worst...screaming, scared, running away, confusion. John walked in his room and he ran to him and gave him a hug. His caregiver coached him and he began calling us Mommy and Daddy right away. He was excited to leave with us, and got upset when he felt we were going to leave without him. We prayed for his little heart to be prepared to meet us and know us, and it was as if he immediately did. He was holding the bear and album we had mailed him a few months ago and really seemed to comprehend we were the family in the pictures, the family that God had chosen for him. The week in Ethiopia was pretty good. We found out quickly that he was potty trained and loved food! yay! He began repeating English within the hour he was with us. The director and his wife told us that he was their favorite little boy and he was very sociable. They were right about the sociable part. We'd spend nights at the guest house in the other couples' rooms and he was the show. :) hmmm.... sounds like another little boy we know. The flight home went pretty smooth as well. He cried twice because he was sleepy, but fell asleep within 5-10 minutes.

Finally, we arrived home to Springfield at 5:00 Tuesday evening (26th). When we got in the car, he began crying because he was pretty freaked out about the carseat. yeah, no carseats in Ethiopia. It didn't last long. The first thing we did was....go through Dairy Queen drive through. Awww... a cheeseburger never tasted so good. Elijah loved the chicken strips and gravy. We missed Manning dearly so we asked Ginger to bring him home that night. They arrived after Elijah was asleep. It was so good to see his little smile and know he was ok. Grandparents are awesome. He wanted to see Elijah, so we let him take a flashlight in his room to look at him while he was sleeping.

The next morning Manning woke up first and when Elijah woke up they just kind of stared at each other. And, here's where the adjusting began. Let's just say it's been a tough 3 weeks. Not sure we could've fully comprehended what it meant to have a 2 year old and a 3 year old all of a sudden before we actually had a 2 year old and a 3 year old. Each week has been better. Lots of fighting over the same toy, whining, chasing, throwing, biting, and timeouts has been the story for the last few weeks. We are confident that soon they will learn that being friends is much easier.

We are happy Elijah's home. We are thankful for all of your prayers. He truly has a sweet spirit and we can already see ways that he fits the mold of our family so well.

He's coming home

2010-07-07T14:46:00.002-05:00

Today was a day that we finally heard a for sure answer to the question we've all been asking. When????
We will be traveling to Ethiopia on the 18th to meet our little Elijah.
Please pray for us and him as we embark on this journey and bring him home.

He's Officially a Teefey!!!

2010-06-16T14:58:00.002-05:00

We passed court today. Elijah John Bereket Teefey will be coming home mid July. We are very excited and feel so blessed to have the priviledge to welcome him into our family.

Soon, very soon

2010-05-12T14:24:00.002-05:00

I tell you what, the last month has been a harder wait for me than the last 2 years. But, God has been so good to us. Last week, 2 days before Ethiopia passed the law requiring two trips for adoption, we found out that our paperwork was received in court before that took effect and we'd only need to make ONE trip. This was such a blessing. Today, we got a tentative travel date (July 8!), which is great news as well. We will know for sure about this date after May 26. Wow, this is all happening at once. I can't wait to show you pictures of our little guy. He's, in my opinion, pretty adorable. Once we pass court, we will be able to post some pics. I can tell you this, we've decided on the name Elijah. Elijah means "The Lord is my God". One rule though, no calling him Eli. We can't have an Eli and a Manning. Too weird. If you can't figure this one out, ask someone who likes football.
Ok, so until next time. Peace.

REFERRAL

2010-03-31T22:45:00.003-05:00

We have some great news to share!
Last week we got a call from our agency and they had a referral for us. I just couldn't believe it. It's much sooner than what we expected.
We now have a 2 year old little boy waiting for us in Ethiopia. Hoping to travel within 3 to 4 months to bring him home.
We ask that you would continue to pray for us and for this little boy that now has a family that is very anxious to meet him and love him!

Why Would You Ask People For Money?

2010-03-31T09:25:00.007-05:00

This isn't a question that we've gotten very often, but it has been raised, and there are probably others who have the same questions. Why would you ask other people to give you financial support?

First, the adoption will cost us about $25,000 by the time all is said and done. Simply put, we don't have $25,000 sitting in a bank account right now. Here is a link to the fee schedule from our adoption agency. The total cost ($21,330 - $27,530) is written at the bottom of the fee schedule.

Secondly, it has never been our intention or hope that anyone would ever donate or give us support who didn't feel a particular calling or desire to support us in this endeavor. Our prayer and hope has always been that no one would ever feel pressured or guilty about not giving money. Your prayers and emotional support are just as important as your financial support. If someone has felt like they shouldn't give, then I hope he/she never feels an ounce of guilt. Our goal has always been that if someone feels led or called or passionate about being on this journey with us, then one tangible way they could help would be with financial support. The response has been overwhelmingly supportive, and it would be impossible for us to ever thank you all enough for you what you have meant to us.

Thirdly, we posted a lengthy post about how all Christians are called to love, visit, and care for orphans. All people are not called to adopt, but it could be that some are called to support those who are called to adopt. Similarly to providing financial support for someone traveling on a mission trip, our prayer was that this opportunity gave some the opportunity to join us on this mission.

There are some people who might say, "I am just too proud to ask anyone for money for something like this." I've been there, and let me be honest in saying that I have repented of my pride several times during this journey. Some of my thoughts have included: "will people think we're poor?"; "will families sit around their tables at night and talk about us?"; "Do people assume that I make a ton of money because I'm an attorney?"; "Will people talk about how we just bought new lawn chairs?"

Asking people to support us has been one of the most humbling experiences for us.....and that's a good thing. This whole process is so much bigger than just us. This is not about us thinking, "hey, I think it would be fun to adopt." This is not about one couple running off to save an orphan. This is about the entire body of Christ (the Church) coming together to live out our mandate to care for orphans.

It makes me think about the first Christians in Acts:

All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need. Acts 4:32-35

We really cannot express how thankful and overwhelmed we are by the generosity of all of you right now. For us, it has been a modern-day expression of sharing what you have to help us bring home our child. We pray that we will be the same givers and sharers when you call on us.

Why Are You Adopting From Ethiopia?

2010-02-16T15:10:00.032-06:00

"If you're going to adopt, why don't you just adopt a white baby?" Even deeper than that question is the reasoning behind it. What they often really mean is "Maybe if you adopt a white baby, people might think she's really yours." "Won't this make your life easier?" "As your friend (family member, co-worker, etc.) wouldn't that make my life easier?" Or it's just as possible that they think it's flat out wrong.

By the world's standards, these questions and thoughts make all the sense in the world. After all, our very sin nature pulls us to identify ourselves according to the flesh. The secular world has also given us a variety of studies on this topic. One Study conducted recently attempted to discourage transracial adoption finding that although "transracial adoption itself does not produce psychological or other social problems in children," black children adopted into white families "often face major challenges as the only person of color in an all-white environment, trying to cope with being different."

The world loves these studies, because the world has a natural instinct to separate each of us according to the flesh. You know who else loves these studies? Christians who vale their hostility and insecurity with a pretense of care and love for these orphans who might face these "major challenges." "It's just not fair to the the child," you might hear them say. Are we too so infatuated with the flesh that we believe that a white orphan is better off living her life, motherless and fatherless, in an orphanage than to be adopted into a loving black family (or vice versa)? Are these "major challenges" too great of an obstacle for the reality of the gospel?

I am completely aware that there is some validity to these findings, and I know that a black child with white parents faces unique challenges and circumstances that most of us can never relate to. There is no doubt that white parents who choose to adopt a black baby must educate and prepare themselves to the reality of our racially-charged world. And I think it is irresponsible and abhorrent to adopt a child of another race simply to show off your uber-charity and your "I'm saving the world" persona. Adopting a child, especially one of another race, is a huge deal, and it should not be taken lightly or without much prayer and discernment. However, James 1:27 doesn't say that pure, undefiled religion is to visit orphans of your own color in their affliction. Psalm 82:3 doesn't say, Give justice to the weak and the fatherless of your own color.

Some will say, "it's just not right" or "back in my day," or "it's just the way I was raised," or "it's just not natural," etc., etc. All unacceptable excuses without a trace of biblical foundation or truth. Sin is sin regardless of what decade it originated in. And even if that's what the world believed back then and continues to believe today, scripture instructs us not to be conformed to the ways and thoughts of the world.

Scripture tells us that as sons and daughters of God, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." (Gal. 3:28) And even if the world doesn't get this, we as Christians must. No matter what color you may be, if you have placed your faith in Christ, then you have been trans-racially adopted into the family of God. No matter what color of skin we have, we now stand as brothers and sisters sharing the same Father.

Russell Moore is is the Dean of the School of Theology at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and the teaching pastor at Highview Baptist Church in Louisville, KY. Moore is a strong adoption advocate and recently wrote a book called "Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families & Churches." In the book, Moore discusses at length the fact that many of the people who show the most disfavor to inter-racial adoption claim to be Christians. Moore says that these Christians "seem not to comprehend that their own devotion to their flesh would disqualify non-Semitic folks like them from the promise of God. If Jesus (a Middle Eastern, Galilean Jew) agreed with them on adoption and race, they'd be in hell....Our love for neighbor means we must prioritize the need for families for the fatherless, regardless of how their skin colors or languages line up with one another."

Finally, Moore says, "don't fear transracial adoption, whatever the racist relatives or 'progressive' experts say. There'll always be secularists -- and sadly, some church people too -- who will try to divide us up into neat categories of race and class. Jesus does the opposite, though. He sits us right down at the same table and feeds us bread and wine -- together."

So, why Ethiopia? First, why not? We are adopting a parentless orphan who needs a family. Her skin happens to be pretty dark. Secondly, God's providence has led us to Ethiopia. Lindsey especially has had a heart for the people of Africa for as long as she can remember. Coming from a small town, this is hard to explain apart from a supernatural conviction from God. Thirdly, we are surrounded by a church that supports and loves us, and our child will be embraced and loved as well. Fourth, we are called to international missions in one form or another. Fifth, we don't really know. In the previous post, I explained why we felt convicted to adopt. By God's grace, this journey has led us to Ethiopia, and we've embraced it.

Here's a short video from Russell Moore:

Why Are You Doing This?

2010-02-11T10:23:00.002-06:00

Throughout this journey, we have already addressed a variety of questions. Some understandable, some silly, some offensive, and some just sad. Here are a few: If you can have "your own" children, why are you adopting? Why would you adopt a black child? Why would you ask people to donate money?; people don't ask for money when they have "their own" kids. Why does it take so long? Why is it so expensive? ... and on and on.

Besides these questions, we have had a handful of people expressly disapproving and even encouraging us not to adopt. Sadly enough, most of those that disapprove the most are Christians. I don't get it, and I don't think I ever will, but out of love and obedience, I want to address some of these issues.

First, the bible does not mix punches when it talks about our mandate to care for orphans. All Christians are not called to adopt, but all Christians are called to care for orphans. James 1:27 says, "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." Psalm 10 says, "O Lord...,you will incline your ear to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more." Psalm 82:3 says, "Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute." Isaiah 1:17: "learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause."

So, as a Christian, are you called to adopt? Maybe, maybe not. Are you called to care for orphans? YES.

I am also constantly reminded that I wasn't always a child of God's.....and you weren't either. In Romans, Paul tells us that we were once "slaves of sin." Romans 6:17 In 1 John 3, John says that, "No one who is born of God will continue to sin," and that "[t]his is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother." 1 John 3: 9,10 Jesus even said that, "If God were your Father, you would love me," but as a slave to sin, "you are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires." John 8:42, 44 Paul says that "by nature [we were] children of wrath." Eph 2:3

So, as a slave to sin, the bible says that I was also a child of the devil. As crazy as this may sound, the devil was once my father. That's pretty hardcore stuff. I hope this sounds awful and crazy and scary.....because it is.

Okay, so what about the adoption part? Well, we have to know where we were before we can rejoice at the magnitude of where we are. And I think it's pretty clear, that apart from the family of Christ, we were in a horrible place. Here's the good news:

"But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, 'Abba! Father!' So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God." Gal. 4:4-7

Through faith in Christ, I am no longer a slave to sin and the devil is no longer my father. Through faith in Christ, I have been adopted into the family of God, and God is my father, and I am his son. I was once lost, but Jesus did not leave me as on orphan, he came to me. John 14:18 I was an outsider with only an identity of the flesh to call my own, but now I am a "member of the household of God." Eph 2:19

That's the Gospel. Adoption is the Gospel. John Piper says that "the very heart of the gospel is God's passion to not only redeem sinners but to adopt them as his very own sons and daughters (Ephesians 1:4-5)."

Adoption is and has always been at the core of God's plan to redeem us. Lindsey and I feel personally convicted and called to honor and celebrate our own adoption and to care for orphans by adopting children into our own family.

Moving along

2010-02-05T14:38:00.002-06:00

It's been awhile since we've written. We just wanted to update on our adoption.
Since most of our paperwork can only be 15-18 months old, we are having to do some of that over, but it should'nt affect us much. Last week, we had to go to the city courthouse and get fingerprints taken. I had no idea that the crazy ink wouldn't come off for about 4 days! That was fun. Then, we had to send those fingerprints along with some other documents to the FBI. Our Homestudy also has to be updated, which will be happening in 2 weeks. Our social worker will come and check our home out and interview us once again. We are still on the wait list though, and everything is still moving along. In fact, we get updates each Friday from our agency and we try to keep a tab of where we are in the line. I think we are currently in the 40's, which is exciting. It doesn't seem that long ago that we started at like #107 or something. So, we are hopeful to meet our child sooner than later. We continue to pray that he/she is safe and knows that we already love them. They are already a part of our family. We just can't wait to physically show this little girl or guy that.

Song

2009-12-04T09:44:00.001-06:00

One of our friends sent us this song last night.
Good stuff.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb7TSGptd3Y

Waiting is hard

2009-12-02T15:18:00.003-06:00

So, I was very naive to believe that getting the paperwork done was the hardest part of this journey. No, I didn't enjoy doing all of that, but it didn't pull on my emotions constantly either. It honestly feels like I've been pregnant for almost 2 years. Now, mind you, the best phsyical pregnancy of all time, but the worst emotionally. It's hard to even imagine what he/she will look like, how old, the time frame of when we'll see a picture, etc... I'm just not very good at this. If you read this and would say a prayer for us, we would greatly appreciate it.

Officially Waiting

2009-07-20T15:49:00.002-05:00

Good News! We got the word on Friday of last week that all of our paperwork had been signed and returned safely back to our agency. We are now officially on the waiting list!!!! So exciting.
So, I guess we'll just wait now. yep...still waiting. We'll be here waiting if you need us. Yay!

Out of our hands

2009-07-01T10:25:00.002-05:00

Good News! John mailed our dossier (paperwork) this morning. It will travel to St. Louis where it will be carefully looked over by our agency, and then it will be sent to Washington, D.C. In Washington the courier for Ethiopia will hand deliver the documents into the Department of State to be authenticated. The courier will then walk the documents into the Ethiopia Embassy for a second authentication. Once this is done (1-2 weeks), our paperwork will be off to the great country of Ethiopia!

Home Study is Back With USCIS

2009-06-01T11:28:00.002-05:00

Our home study agency informed us last week that all the necessary changes/updates had been made to our home study, and that they mailed our home study to USCIS early last week. I just received on email from USCIS this morning informing me that they had received our homestudy, and that it is in "a pile to be reviewed in the next 2-3 weeks." So, yet another waiting period begins.

USCIS seemed much more willing to expediate the process when they received our home study the first time. I don't know if they're frustrated with our agency or what, but they are not going to review our home study immediately this time around. One of the things I've learned is that it's hard to update this blog on a regular basis when there is so rarely new information to talk about.

So, please pray that the USCIS peeps will review their materials in a timely manner, and that they will be diligent. Also pray that we will be patient and confident that our God who has begun a work in us will faithfully see us through.

Bumps in the Road

2009-05-15T15:02:00.005-05:00

If you ever start the adoption process, one of the first things that you'll be told is to never expect a smooth road. Always be prepared for detours and difficult times. Well, we experienced a pretty large pot-hole last week.

As we informed you in the previous post, we have completed all of our dossier paperwork. However, before our dossier paperwork can be submitted to Ethiopia, our home study must first be processed and approved by the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS). Our homestudy was completed in November 2008, and home studies must be submitted to USCIS before they are 6 months old. For some reason, our home study agency did not submit our home study to USCIS before this month, so USCIS sent our home study back to our agency to be updated.

This is not a huge deal, and our home study agency is in the process of making the necessary updates, but it has been a very frustrating time. We have always been under the impression that our home study agency sent our home study to USCIS in early February, but they just failed to do so. All this to say, the process goes on, and God will be faithful.

I Retract Any Negative Statements Toward Missouri

2009-04-24T10:07:00.003-05:00

After ripping on Missouri through most of our dating and marital relationship, the Missouri Secretary of State came through with a bang. As previously mentioned, we mailed Lins' birth certificate to Missouri to be state certified. We mailed her birth certificate to Missouri on Saturday, April 18th and received it back in the mail on Wednesday, April 22nd. That's a 3 business-day turn around, folks!

We also mailed the reference letter to Indiana SOS on Saturday, April 18th to be certified, but we still have not received it back yet. So, Missouri wins.

Wham Bam Dossier Man

2009-04-20T12:10:00.000-05:00

Our dossier paperwork is now 100% completed. The dossier is all of the paperwork that will be sent to the Ethiopian government for review and confirmation. These papers include financial information, reference letters, family photos, employment info., passports, medical records, criminal records, etc. All of the papers had to be notarized, and they are now in the process of being "state-sealed." Basically, the state sealing means that the state's Secretary of State's office has to affirm that the notaries that were used on the documents were actually state certified notaries and not just jag-mos with a fancy stamp.

This has been a pretty smooth process so far. One of our reference letters was from Indiana, so we had to mail the letter to Indiana's Secretary of State to get it state certified. They told us this would only take a week, but we've learned to be a little more realistic than that. Also, for some reason, Lindsey was born in Missouri, so we had to send her birth certificate to be state certified in Missouri. Yep, you would never know now, but Lindsey was born in Missouri. Missouri.

The next step will be for the paperwork to be sent to Washington D.C. for review. It will then be translated and sent to Ethiopia. Oh yeah, we also have to pay a nice chunk of cha ching when we send in the Dossier paperwork.

Please be praying that the process continues to be smooth and that we will be diligent and wise in raising and saving money for this adventure.

fresh...

2009-03-09T15:55:00.000-05:00

Well, we started the international adoption process over a year ago. It's been a wonderful learning and growing experience. We have completed the bulk of our paperwork and are excited to begin the waiting phase of adopting from Ethiopia. We will most likely receive a referral letter for a baby within 6-10 months. After that we get to travel to the beautiful country of Ethiopia. We are so excited to further our family through adoption and look forward in giving Manning a little sibling to enjoy and grow up with. We plan on keeping you all informed as we countdown to the time we get to hold our little one. In the mean time, we ask for prayer. 1st, for health of our baby in Ethiopia and for the parents that are having to make the most difficult yet bravest decision of their lives. 2nd, for our patience and trust in Jesus as we wait.